Aneh

Aku berlari-lagi dalam bangunan itu sambil menangis teresak-esak. Bangunan yang mempunyai kawasan yang kelihatan seakan-akan sekolah menengahku tetapi seperti binaan orang Serani zaman dahulu. Cantik. Lalu aku terdengar suara dia. Suara yang sudah lama tidak didengari. Dia bersama keluarga bercuti disini, Sudah mahu pulang ke rumah.

Lalu aku pun mencari suara itu. Aku lihat dia sedang berbual mesra dengan salah seorang kawannya. Aku yang masih teresak bersama tangisan ini amat memerlukan seseorang untuk meminjamkan bahunya. Aku pergi ke arah dia. Dia terpana melihatku; bagaimana aku boleh berada disitu dan mengapa tangisan itu. Setelah beberapa minit meresap apa yang berlaku kedalam mindanya, dia memelukku erat untuk menenangkan ku dan mengajak aku pulang kerumah.

Dengan pelukannya aku merasa lega dan tenang, lalu aku berjalan dalan pelukannya. Dia mengajak aku pulang sekali, katanya dia boleh hantarkan aku kerumahku. Akan tetapi, aku mencari seseorang. Aku sendiri tidak pasti mengapa aku mencari orang itu.

Aku pon melarikan diri dari dia yang memelukku itu dan mencari orang yang dicari tadi. Mungkin nasibku baik, aku jumpa rumah orang itu. Aku masuk dan aku nampak orang itu. Seorang perempuan yang seharusnya berambut kuning keemasan, sudah menjadi coklat gelap, tatpi aku masih mengenali dia. Aku memeluknya erat.

Maafkan saya, ini bukan realiti, hanya mimpi. Tetapi tidak pernah lagi saya bermimpikan "dia" sebelum ini. 

The spooky building

Just now my mom asked me

"Who is this?"

"I'm Chuck Bass"

and I answered

"He's my new boyfriend" with a mischievous smile.

If only I can date him for real. Last night I dreamt about this bad boy again. Apparently we are exclusive and at the moment, we're just hanging out with out friends. On the way to the hang out place, there's a spooky-looking old building. That building remind me of somewhere but I can't recall where is it or where I saw it from. In the building I saw a hole in the wall, with a glimpse I swear I saw something is moving through the hole. While walking we hear wind swooshing and the shadow in the building is moving but none of us are brave enough to look upwards.

The spooky building kinda looks like this

We hang out in the middle of an old mall, and my boyfriend Chuck [ehem] make a cute face and look and me while we are chatting.

The cute face

In the middle of hanging out, one of our friends, Penelope [If you watch GG] recommended a dress to me but I reluctant to buy it because I don't really like it. Then she says I am picky and suddenly out of nowhere I burst and start screaming to her

"IT'S MY LIFE AND MY MONEY WHY DO YOU BOTHER?"

and just stormed out of there. I have to walk through the spooky building, at the hole in the wall I say someone's eye and suddenly the wall opens up and there stand a creepy-looking man just stare at me and I started running. Suddenly I walk pass a school assembly [?] and there where I heard my alarm clock get up.

Before this, no matter how much I like the character [Sam Winchester], I never dream about him. I wonder why I keep dreaming about Chuck and is it normal? Is there any shrink here that can tell ma? hehe

T.I.M.E

All of this, with everything that has been happening I finally realize that there's no reason to be worked up about. People often say that everything happens for a reason and now I might see the beginning of it. Every person that hurt me for the past few weeks, each of them I love very much which is the reason that every small action they do or every little things that they say might give enormous effect in my life as much as I'm trying to deny it.

Thanks to Juliet Sharp in Gossip Girl, I learn that revenge is a dessert best served cold. In other point of view, it is not wise to enjoy too much dessert since it is usually full of sugar and that is not good for your body. Eventually you will feel exhausted. Besides that, forgiving others actually affect our heart, it has nothing to do with theirs. We will feel the zen once we forgive others, try it.

Don't we miss the feeling of peace and free? I know I do. And for the first time yesterday, I actually have fun. It was amazing with you, but all this time I always wonder, will it stay like that forever? When I feel happy, I wonder am I dreaming to be this happy? And why?

Until now I have no answers to that. But if I am dreaming, I want to open my eyes now. We can't run from the reality forever. At one point, we have to wake up and face the music. We have to have "the talk". So if you care enough to have "the talk" with me, just tell me. But if you still want to be a coward and avoid the talk, maybe it's not meant to be.

I leave it all to Allah. He knows the best.

p/s: For you, S who just chatted with me yesterday, thanks you for being a loyal reader to my blog, you really didn't know how much it mean to me. I really appreciate it.

Chuck Bass

Hello Upper East Siders, upss, hello lovely readers how is it going? As some of you may know currently I have something called "celebrity crush" on one of the Gossip Girl's character, Chuck Bass played by Ed Westwick. I'm in love with the idea of Chuck Bass because he's a bad boy [which I usually route in movies or series that I watch or watched] and from where I am watching standing right now he is in a committed relationship with the most annoying yet adorable character in this show, Blair Waldorf. I love the way he handles Blair. He is the type of person who is willing to do anything, and I mean anything for the person he loves.

Tell me, how can't you fall in love with him?

Well, last night, I kinda have a dream about him. He confesses that he's attracted to me and he want to be my boyfriend. We texted but its really awkward for me because I don't know what to call him, but he's really sweet planning dinner for just the two of us. Unfortunately the private dinner doesn't turn to be private as we imagine it. Many people tag along so we ditch them and meet outside of the restaurant with bag packs [Its a dream, just go with it]. I saw him but he doesn't see me. Then I try to search for him but he's gone.

Then my alarm clock woke me up.

Well there goes my unsuccessful dream love story. I might watch too many Gossip Girl so its affecting my subconscious subconsciously. I'm hoping to see him again tonight [wink wink]. Funny thing about dreams, sometimes we didn't realize we care too much or too less about someone until we have a dream about them. We chase the dream when the reality is not that wonderful for us. But careful fellas, don't let the dream affecting your reality. However, you can make the dream as an inspiration, but not more than that.

Let me put the ending of this post Gossip Girl style.

You know you love me,

XOXO

Gossip Girl

Ipad Baru

Iman [anak sepupu kami] sedang membelek-belek IPad Mini Mayah. Selepas itu ayahnya, Abg Herman [sepupu kami] datang kepada kami, lalu Iman menunjukkan Ipad Mini Mayah kepada Abg Herman.

"Bak, ni IPad Mini",

Abg Herman pon memandang kearah Ipad Mini tersebut, lalu berfikir seketika. Kemudian dia bersuara;

"Bak takde Ipad Mini. Nak tahu apa bak ada? Ipad Bini!",

Lalu kami pun, iya, anda tahu yang selanjutnya.