She walks slowly into the shower with tears already filling her eyes. She grabs the towel and drags it to the shower.
"This is too much pain", the voice in her head starts talking again.
She rotates the shower knob clockwise three times to turn in on. She intend to take a normal length shower then tuck herself in to bed. Suddenly the tears streams down without any warning. She feels like screaming now
at 12:30 am but she's afraid she'll wake everyone up.
She couldn't hold it in anymore, then she lean her right shoulder to the wall and close her eyes while tears keep streaming down like waterfall. All of sudden, she hears him
"Dear, please don't cry. Smile, please."
And she feels his warm tan hands hugging her, then kisses her head to calm her down. She feels safe for a while, and that is when reality struck.
"Why aren't you here baby?"
She asks. No answer. She opens her eyes, he's not even there to begin with.
With all the tears streaming through her eyes, the thoughts of him in her mind, the shower water running through her skin, her knees become weak and there she is, alone
at 12:30am in the shower, sitting on her legs with her hand and head on the toilet lead, weeping and whimpering. It was heartbreaking.
She hears him whisper again.
"Honey, you love me right? Please don't cry." He says
The voice in her head shouts
"BUT BABY YOU AREN'T HERE, HOW CAN I NOT BE SAD?"
Still no answer.
She thinks to herself, when will all this ends? Being without him eats her happiness alive day by day like a dementor sucking good memories from people in Harry Potter.
She gained all her strength and try to get up.
"Enough!" She say to herself.
She gets up reluctantly. Shower herself trying not to think about him again.
Then it happens again. Her knees weaken but this time she sits on the shower tiles. She let the tears stream down and starts whimpering again. There's so much pain in her body, running through each and every vein. She make a fist and starts to punch the wall to let it all out, but all it does is making the feeling even worst.
She gets up again, this time she tells herself
"Honey, sometimes you need to let it all out because you're human, every once in a while you need to cry"
She stands up with any strength left, facing the hazy mirror and wipe it off to see her weeping face. Her eyes already puffed up and her face is wet, slowly she wipes off her face. She cleans herself up, get out of the shower, wear pajamas and pray.
P/s: Is my writing kinda rusty? Cause I can't "feel" my own post.