The third voice

When you fall in love, your heart usually contracts with your mind. When your mind say no your heart usually say yes. That is the moment you starts to realize that you're in love.

As I can put it this way, you have two voices, which are "mind" and "heart". And as we all know, mind is the geeky factual voice and heart is the emotional voice.

And then there's the third voice. For about a fortnight now, something against the odds happen. The emotional heart co-operates with the geeky mind. And out of nowhere, this third voice is the one who contradicts with them. The question is, who/what is that voice and where does it came from?

After some thinking and observation, I name this voice as "memories". Let me give you an analogy. Lets say there's a new movie showing on cinemas. Heart and mind both agrees that the movie is not that interesting. But the memories keep showing the trailer, making heart and mind having second thought about watching the movie.

"Maybe it is good"

"Maybe it suits me"

"Maybe if we give it a chance we'll enjoy ourselfs"

But at the same time thinking:

"But I don't really like the actor"

"But this is the sequel of that sucky story"

"What if this one is bad too?"

So the three voices keep arguing and driving me crazy!

Guys, please settle down. I'm tired of all this. Really tired. 

Hantar barang

Ring ring... telefon berdering. Aku bergegas untuk mengangkat. Melihat siapa gerangan pemanggil, aku tersenyum sendiri.

"Assalamualaikum", kataku.

"Waalaikumsalam", jawabnya.

"Ye encik snowman, nak apa?", tanyaku, gembira dia mengingatiku.

"Tengah duduk aje ni. Ada kat mana?"

"Ada kat rumah aje, dalam bilik ni. Kenapa?", tanyaku lagi.

"Ade hantar barang, tapi posmen kata kena ada orang ambik. Cuba turun ambik barang, posmen kat depan rumah tu", katanya.

Hati aku mula berdebar, entah sebab apa.

"Tapi biasa kalau posmen datang dia tekan loceng rumah, tak dengar bunyi loceng pon", ujarku pada dia.

"Alah, turun je lah, barang penting hantar ni" katanya, mendesak.

Akupun menuruni anak tangga tanpa mematikan panggilan.

"Eh macam kenal je motor tu", kataku.

Rupanya dia didepan pagar rumahku, tersenyum. Suka dengan kejutan ini. Terubat semua rindu dihati.

Malam tadi

Aku mimpi kau datang

Masa aku tengah tak keruan mencari

Lepas tu aku marah kau sebab lari

Aku tak bagi kau lari lagi

Tolong, jangan lari lagi

Aku dah tak mampu
Tahan rindu

:-(

Cakap lebat

Its been a while, right? Sorry for not updating more often, sometimes I forget the existance of this domain. Actually a lot have happened and I don't know where to start.

First of all, life's kinda, only ok I guess. Work, well. Something has happened recently that open my eyes to certain vital things that I usually response with ignorance.

First, about my paycheck. For some who doesn't know, I work in a factory in shifts. There are only two shifts: morning and night. Actually the shifts doesn't bother me a lot. Its the working hours that bother me.

Our working hour is 10 hours per day, 12 if we want to do overtime. And yeah, they treat overtime like a compulsory thing here even though its only an option. And yeah, I am the lady of my own mind, I won't do anything unless I want to. When I check my pay for last month, it's kinda like a wake up call for me. I worked for 12 hours almost every day, and my pay doesn't even reach 2k. I need to do something about this. So I started the scavanger [job] hunt, episode 2.

Second of all, the politics. I really hate the politics here. And I should say this, I am blessed enough to have an understanding boss to work with. Alhamdulillah. 

But, as always, there's always a pair of eyes and a set of lips that can't let us be happy. I don't even know this b**** but suddenly she complaint about me and so. They tell me that she is like that with anyone. I just didn't understand it you know. A well known lady, good looking, married to someone who is filthy rich, but still couldn't leave this poor little new kid alone. Something is wrong upstairs I guess.

The best part is, when it happened, my so called "partner in crime" just bailed on me. So there I am taking the blame, alone. Starting there, I lost all my trust towards that so called "friend of mine". Someone who we call, "cakap lebat, buat tak berani". 

I just hope I can find a job in Shah Alam soon and get my ass out of that stupid factory. It's not exciting anymore, never have been.

From my point of view,

Telling someone that you dream of them is just another way of telling them you think of them very much before you sleep till he/she appears in your dream.

Or to be brief, YOU MISS THEM.

So if someone you love tells you they dream of you, just be emphatic and tell them that you miss them too instead of just remain silent then interpreting it the other way that causes them heartache.

Is that too much to ask for? 

Well, unless you don't then, DON'T.