I'm Growing Up

Been a while, huh?

My last post was in 2022, but the story is from 2015, which, lets face it, 10 years ago. Lots of things, I mean, lots, have happened since. To be honest I'm not sure if anyone is still reading blogs, which might be one of the reasons I decided to come back here. Social medias are distracting.

So, dear readers (if any), how have you been? 

I say it sincerely that I do hope you're doing well. Me, well, I myself am not sure. I think I am but lately things seems to have exponential effects on my emotion. I know 35 is not the age people usually started to figure things out, people my age have mostly figured themselves out, be stable in their life, their job, some have already been married and have children. I am happy for them. Genuinely happy. I've taught myself that other people achievements doesn't take from mine, but I cant help but wonder a lot of things these days.

For those who doesn't know, I recently just completed my Master's Degree, and guess what, not in engineering. Yes, I think I subconsciously made a binding covenant with myself to not go back there. And now, comes the hard part. Actually using that Master's Degree. I'm in search for a job! Yay! A legit job that actually using my degree, not just my hands, like the previous one (I will tell you that later, or maybe I won't, who knows?). 

The thing is, the world have completely changed since the last time I have a job using my degree. Now, we can apply for a job just by using an app on the phone. Oh yes, it lowkey surprises me, but lowkey kinda expecting that too. I actually got an interview for tomorrow, which, if you are reading, please pray for me. I don't understand myself why I don't feel safe sharing this too people. Probably because it's masked in shame; yeah, people don't normally just starting out at my age. But here's the thing, people who I actually told this, are really supportive. I'm lucky to have such supportive friends, I've found my people.

I need to write this here to remind my future self that, whatever the outcome is, it's always for the best. Allah knows best for me. If I get it, then I will gain lots of knowledge and experience. But if I didn't, its not the end of the world. I have a backup plan this time. At least I'm not wasting time like before. I want to be a valuable part of society. So, just pray for whats best for me, okay?

Am I nervous?

Are you crazy? Of course I am! Lol. Okay I'm not a lol user, but can you imagine me chuckling nervously? Oh maybe I should just write that.

I always wanted to continue journaling, I feel like social media have taken the fun out of just saying what I want without making people... butthurt, for the lack of better word. Or maybe I'm just imagining things. But we'll see. 

Pray for me!