Merapu

Minggu lepas, aku habiskan masa dengan menonton semula cerita underground Melayu bertajuk 'KAMI'. Aku suka cerita tu sebab menampakkan realiti kehidupan kita, dalam masa yang sama tak keterlaluan atau 'over' sangat. Lagu pon best-best.

tengok lah, kat youtube pon ada hehe

Terfikir, tak guna duit berguni tapi hati tak senang. Tapi kalau takde duit langsung pun susah jugak. Ye lah, zaman sekarang ni semua nak duit. Berak pon nak kena bayar air. Ayat cliche.

Hujung minggu ni agak hectic untuk aku emotionally and physically. Alhamdulillah semuanya ok sekarang. Aku baru sedar, aku sebenarnya tak perlukan sesiapa macam aku perlukan parents aku, especially mak aku.

Aku belajar duduk bangun bertatih berjalan makan minum berak kencing mandi menangis semua dengan mak aku. Aku sebenarnya tak tahu kenapa aku merepek je malam ni. Aku ingat aku akan rasa rindu tapi, entah lah. Kosong je. Tadi kat twitter aku ada nampak orang tweet macam ni:

"@autocorrects: The day we stop crying is the day we stop caring.”

Buat aku berfikir panjang. Orang kata, dengan ujian dan kesakitan, kita akan jadi lebih kuat. Tapi pernah tak korang terfikir, sebenarnya bila dah selalu sangat sakit, kita akan terbiasa dengan kesakitan tu, sampai kita rasa tu satu benda biasa. Immune orang putih kata. Macam pedas, harini makan cili kau rase pedas, esok kau rasa biasa. Aku mungkin dah tak sakit. Atau dah terbiasa dengan kesakitan tu. Mungkin hati dah keras sebab banyak dosa. Entahlah. Mana satu pon aku tak tahu.

Aku tak tahu mana haja tuju post ni. Sepatutnya ada kerja kena siapkan tapi aku stuck. Hilang minat, sekaligus hilang idea. Aku tahu penulisan itu penting bila kita buat projek, cuma hati aku bukan ke arah penulisan teknikal. Aku cuba untuk suka.

Sekarang Shah Alam selalu hujan. Aku memang dah tak ingat apa aku blaja geog dulu, tapi aku rasa sekarang tengah musim monsoon. Sejuk bukan main. Aku pun berselubung selimut ni. Tiap-tiap petang hujan.

Banyak sangat gadgets pun pening kepala jugak. Buat aku rasa macam membazir sebab ada tapi tak guna. Guna pun untuk main game. Sampai sekarang aku tak faham, apa fungsi gadget berbentuk tablet tu? Tak kisah lah Galaxy tab samsung ke, Ipad ke. Aku rasa cam orang kaya lak beanyak ggadget ni. Satu teman tidur, satu teman tengok cerita, satu jadi telefon setia. Aku tak faham macam mana orang boleh ada banyak-banyak gadgets ni, korang buat apa hah?

Ha, haritu aku tengok semula cerita "He's Just Not That into You". Cerita tu pon menarik. Aku suka konsep cerita macam tu. Message dia jelas dan watak semua orang famous amos. Ada sesetengah orang tak minat, complicated katanya. Aku rasa biasa aje. Atau sebenarnya, aku yang complicated?

Cerita ni banyak cerita pasal relationship. Ajar kita melihat dari sudut yang lagi satu. Tambah pulak, ada Jennifer Aniston. Cerita adaptasi daripada buku. Bukan buku jiwang, I assume. Tapi still, chick flicks lah. Lelaki tak minat cerita macam ni biasanya.

Baiklah, sebelum uretra daku meletus macam belon nipis, ada baiknya aku stop. Thanks for reading.

Taraaaa~

Telur dadar

Aku dengan Naqib sedang menonton cerita conan sambil Naqib makan. Dia makan nasi berlaukkan telur dadar dengan kicap. Aku pon mintak lah telur dadar tu sikit kat Naqib.

Aku: Naqib, nak sikit telur.

Naqib pun suapkan aku telur tu. Lepas tu dia bagitahu aku

Naqib: Ni Naqib yang masak ni.

Aku: ohh yeke??! Patut lah sedap

Naqib: Tapi bibik yang terbalikkan

Aku: ohhh. Tapi Naqib lah yang pecahkan telur sume2 eh?

Naqib: Tak, bibik yang pecahkan telur.

Aku: eh, dah tu Naqib buat pe? Betul ke Naqib yang masak ni? [sambil tersengih]

Naqib: Naqib masak laaahhh

Aku: Ohh Naqib yang letak garam ehh?

Naqib: Tak ingat. . .

Aku: Erkk...

Still...

Its been 3 days since the time space continuum ultimatum. Surprisingly I manage to not text or call the person involved [you know who]. Usually these buffers will refreshen 'our' spirit and makes us even closer after the buffer time is over.

But its hard, really really hard not knowing what he's doing or how is he. The only decent thing I can do is pray to Allah to always protect him and put him at ease with whatever conflict he is dealing with. The silence breaks my heart though.

I wish I could be this strong until the end of the waiting period.

Hopefully it will end soon.

Cheers! (^_^)v

🎶"ohhh these times are hard, they were making us crazy don't give up on me baby"🎶

Time and space continuum

"Ross: I mean it's... it's kinda far from work, but, uh, you know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I... I've been given the gift of time!

Chandler: Now, that's so funny, because last Christmas I got the gift of space. We should get them together and make a continuum."

All these years, I squeeze my brain hard to understand one of A'llah's creation: man. Not the ordinary kind I should say.

It seems like they're not the kind that wants or realize that they need companion when they're upset and depressed, so I decided to give the time and space continuum a try.

I tell myself, leave him alone for a while, thats space.

Don't bother him until he approaches you, thats time.

So you, my dear can build a time-space continuum like Chandler and Ross!

Maybe that's the best way they recover? I hope so. You'll bounce back eventually, its just the matter of time.

Until next time, I'll see you when I see you =)

Don't you?

I feel like I always tell you even little things that happen in my life because I don't want you to feel like I don't trust you.

When you suddenly show to the world that you're sad and I ask what's wrong and you don't want to tell, feels like you don't trust me at all.

Maybe you don't want to bother me with it, but you hurt me deeply.

I feel like I've shown that I care enough about you, why don't I deserve some amount of trust from you?

WHY?