Stuck

I'm not like, stuck in the car. I just don't want to come out. I am back from meeting my Final Year Project [FYP] supervisor regarding my dissertation. He asked me to add more words to the abstract, then I can send the whole report for hardbound process. As many of my friends has proceeded their life; working, getting married, further their studies, I'm still stuck here.

As we all know, once I've submitted the hardbound to my supervisor, I, also, MUST proceed to the next phase of my life. Honestly, I'm not that interested in getting 'married' or 'furthering my study' at the moment, thus I am left with the 'working' choice. Oh how grown up am I!.

Currently I feel like, how fast the time is running. Maybe I don't want to grow up. Maybe I want to shrink down. Haha I know I'm not Benjamin Button, but if that is possible, can I not grow up?

You must think that I'm just a whiny  lady girl that is not grateful for everything that I've achieved. Sometimes I think the same thing too. But seriously, am I the only one who feels this? Don't you feel the same? Growing up sucks, big time.

With that in mind, my other part of brain triggers: you've finished studying, in many ways, you've owed your beloved parents too much. So if you keep moping like this and not do things you should do, when will you move forward? Isn't it time to pay them back? Show how successful your life has turn out? Show how grateful of you to have such wonderful parents that always stay by your side in thick and thin?

I know my mind might exaggerate the events that will turn out exactly fine. My life will rotate 180 degrees after this. The uncertainty scares me but excites me in the same time. I like my life to be a big mystery instead of planning it, its just more exciting that way. The same reason why I don't seek for scholarship because I don't want to be tied down right after completing my degree. I might not be an engineer, who's to say that right?

Alhamdulillah for the countless blessings that you gave me dear Allah, its impossible without you. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.