Incik H

I dreamt of him last night. I never really have a real face to face conversation with him so my stupid brain made up this ridiculous slang he talks in.

Hesitating to tell him will only makes me think about him all day long yet that's what I choose. I've confessed to him yet he rejected me. Even though he said it nicely, rejection is still a rejection. I thought I've moved on but here we are again.

Different topic, today is my fist official day to make Biskut KL this year. A bit excited to have a constant project to make every day. I have hired helpers, they are my brother and his wife, which makes things better because I don't have to have a stranger in the house helping me.

So far, fasting this time doesn't make me hungry or thirsty, but sleepy all the time. I feel like these 2 days of fasting come and go as a blur, like I'm some kind of zombie or something.

Okay some encouragement to make Biskut KL. You're going bigger this year, it's normal to be scared. Don't let being scared stopped you from doing it. There are people who love your cookies and you are doing it for them, so don't lose hope even when you're feeling bored. I mean, they is what the laptop is for. You owe it to them and to past young and hopeful you to make it. And who knows,  maybe you can afford to buy a machine to scoop the  damn thing this year, so that you won't have to scoop next year. So, go now!

Xo xo

First Ramadhan

Alhamdulillah done first day of fasting this year, with adequate food for buka. It doesn't feel like fasting, maybe because the bot so warm weather and maybe so because of the works done today occupies my mind from waiting for maghrib or feeling hungry.

I actually have a few concerns regarding this year's Biskut KL project and it was always the same every time; what if nobody will buy them or the worst of all, what if it [the cookies itself] doesn't turn out as good as I have hoped?

I know it's silly to think of that. We use the same damn recipe each time. Insyaallah the outcome will be lovely. I've already screwed up by buying slightly larger jar that I suppose which makes it easy to just pour the cookies into the jar but the jar wasn't full is my concern. The amount of cookies is the same as last year but since the jar is bigger, it seems like it's not.

Okay enough of the silly rant, I'll go pray now. Have a good one!

Boxing chicken

Just sitting here waiting for the creampuff to puff. It's 11.09pm. Had a long day; tired,  yes, yet fulfilling. It's almost Ramadhan and I can't wait. The month full of baraqah. Although the days will be a bit boring with making cookies but tarawikh and moreh is my favourite. It's nice to be under one roof with people who give their heart to Allah in this month. Fasting, on this dog days suppose to make us appreciate all the things that we have and remind us of people who have less. It's a beautiful month.

Noon today I went to Putrajaya to see a friend then to Uniten to fetch my brother. Oh how time flies, just a blink of an eye suddenly my brother is in college.

In the a.m I went to buy some of the supplies to make my glorious Biskut KL. I missed some things but glass half full, I got a lot and most of the items on sale! Imagine buying them in bulk. Oh alhamdulillah thats why I love Ramadhan, not even here yet and the rizqi already rolling in.

There's still a lot to do in the Biskut KL section. I need to list down one by one so that I won't miss a thing.

I honestly don't know when did this blog turns to my "diary" but writing [typing]  once in a while sure is fun. Especially when you have a lot in mind and nobody to talk to. And I feel safe in account of knowing nobody actually reads this or at least not until down here and for those who did, I'm very grateful there's still some dummy 😝 who read this crap. Please don't ask me about anything in here because if you know, you know. Or else, you don't.

By the way, my dinner today. Boxing chicken 😂

Lost

Ever had the day when you feel down and tired, doesn't have the mood to do anything, feel angry at everyone, and feel lonely at the same time?

I don't know what or who to blame for this, usually I'm a pretty positive person. Might be because there's so much to do until I feel paralyzed and just lay there, not doing anything.

Some has said that when you're in a bad mood, possibly that you missed someone. But the problem is, who? I hate to walk around with this dark cloud over my head. I hate to be a cry baby and reduced to tears for every little things. There's been a while I feel empty inside. Disconnected. Lost.

Okay self, you need to take one day at a time. You might want to be close to your maker. Stop and take a deep breath once in a while. And stop whining.